While everyone's a woman [even Soriana is on the verge of womanhood], I'm retaining my claim as as as the biggest man ever. I smoked a Goddamn cigarette, screwed a ton of women, and I got tossed out of a game against the Rockies men. They were calling us women and a I told them they were 100% right. We Womaned it up first against the Marlins when Gregg refused to smoke a goddamn cigarette leading to blow two saves and blow Trammel's teeny weeny. Then we went we went to the Reds, and despite not screwin any women we came through 2 outta 3 and even Gorzellany was a man. Then we went to Colorada and screwed some of the Rockies few groupies but but but the Rockies were pissed off and killed us 3 outta 4. In the last game we were bein the biggest women ever and Gorzellany had a woman attack after attempting to be a man an unleashing a shitty throw. But that's to be expected. He started to cry and be a woman and that sent the emotional coordinator out, who I punched in the face cause I could smell his womanness, came out and tried to help him, but he refused to be a man, so I took the Goddamn ball from him and sent him home. As of right now I'm in Goddarn Kansas with 5 hours to get to the ballgame. To close it out I've sent ya some pictures of women I've screwed lately.
Thanks for Your Time,
Louis Victor Piniella
MANager of the Chicaga Cubs
